While reading onethousandsingledays blog, something occurred to me. Like a bolt of lightening streaking though the sky to hit me straight in the head. It was one of those moments where your sitting there all non-shalunt and it just hits you like a pillowcase full of bricks:
I need to become re-aquainted with myself as a single person. I know it might sound like a very simple thing, but its not. Especially when your trying to still be friends with your exes. Old feelings re-surface and you start thinking that maybe, just maybe, things could workout with them again. And I keep making the same mistakes over and over again.
Let me give you a little bit of history in the life of J. My two major exes (E and C) are still a big part of my life. I talk to each of them on a daily basis. I am dependent on them for advice and comfort. I even have led them on to believe there is a possibility to restart the relationships. I feel like a very sick person. The thing about it is that I didn’t even consciously realize what I was doing.
I have decided that I am not going to dwell on past relationships any longer and I will not use them as a crutch to comfort me in times of need. I need to cut off the ties with the exes and stop dragging them along and letting them think there is hope for another new relationship between us. How can I possibly think about a new relationship while i’m still pretty much in two old relationships.
Wow, who would have thought that stumbling onto a blog could have this big of an affect on me.
J.
Nerdy Girl in West Virginia 